Chapter 6: Nick of Time

Wednesday, June 23 9:45 pm

I looked down at packed suitcase:
Clothes- check
Money- check
Toiletries- check
iPod....
I quickly stuffed my iPod into my handbag and then threw myself onto my bed. Great! I had a suitcase, I had a mission but I didn't have a plan. How was I supposed make it out of my house unnoticed, with a huge suitcase.

Bzzzzz! Bzzzzz! Who could possibly be texting me at time. I don't have time for this. Uhhh it was Bruce. What does he want now?!?

HEYY WAS WONDERING IF WANTED TO COME OVER FOR THE NIGHT?

Perfect!! I could leave telling my parents I was going to Bruce's and just go to the subway station instead.

I replied to the text, told my parents the plan and headed out the door confident with myself. The Lord provides. I never used to really understand what that meant but after this situation and the whole putting the plan together so perfectly totally proved God's goodness.

I had already passed my street and was walking out of my neighbourhood when I say a figure in the distance. It was tall and I swore I'd see it before.

"Cathy!!" Ummm what was Bruce doing out here?

" hey, thought I'd come out to meet you and walk you to my place cause its kinda dark," aww how sweet. Wait a minute Cathy, you are not going over, you are not going over.

"Oh well actually i can't come over... there was a change of plans." What was I saying? What was the new plan and what could I possibly want to do that was more fun than visiting my boyfriend and not only that, but why else was I walking with a suitcase?

"So where exactly are you headed with that suitcase?" Bruce sounded suspicious.

Lord please help me, Lord please help me I prayed silently in my head. "Umm... well Brittany's boyfriend just dumped her and she really wanted me to come over and comfort her after the break up and I'm really sorry I didn't get back to you but she called me just as I headed out of my house."

"Really? They've been going out for three years now, what a jerk!" My goodness, he had bought it. And this is yet another reason why I cannot back out of this now- I've lied (once again) about Brittany's relationship and once everyone finds out i had rumoured that, they're gonna hate me.

"Well I better get going," I hugged Bruce and then quickly fled down the street in hope of avoiding him before he found out the truth.

There's no turning back,

chapter 5: Inspector Gadget

Wednesday June 22                    3:15 pm          116 Tenth Av. North    Bathroom

They're knocking! They're knocking! I quickly stuffed the bible down my pants and sat down on the chair in my bedroom. I checked myself out in the mirror first to make sure that i didn't look weird or awkward. The men walked into the house with a stern look in their eyes. They slow, very slowly (like to be honest, I thought they were just going to take a quick look around) , inspected the house and everything in it. One of the three men turned and looked at me and I froze. What if he knew? I knew I should've burned the bible! He smiled then asked me what my name was and what school I attended and then the men went out on their way. So I wasn't caught this time, but what about next time, what about next time!! I had to escape to that island. I just could't live here anymore. "All I know is I'm not home yet, this is not where I belong," I whispered the familiar tune by Building 429 to calm myself down. I stood up and pulled the bible out of my pants and stuffed it in my underwear drawer where I usually kept it. I looked around slowly, eyeing my room and wondering where I actually belonged. Not at school, not at home and definitely not in my community. I had to leave. But to where? That island, that island! Cept, I don't really know where it is. hmmmm.... what was that channel again. I walked out of my bedroom and slumped down onto the couch. Ah, at least something here feels comfortable for once. I grabbed the t.v. remote off the coffee table and i flipped through the channels until i reached the channel I was looking for. The commercial was so real that any idiot would buy it, it was kind of like a lottery giveaway of some sort. The commercial came to an end and a male voice spoke the phone number to call. I quickly grabbed a pen from the coffee table and rapidly jotted the number down on my hand. I was so pumped up- I was gonna do this. Yes, I Catherine Swan, was going to run away. I turned off the t.v and casually walked to my room, picking up the phone from the kitchen table on the way. I was going to do this. Ready or not here I come. 

Chapter 5: Inspector Gadget

Wednesday June 22                    3:05 pm          116 Tenth Av. North    Panic Mode: ON


I just arrived home five minutes ago to hear that the IAC (inspectors against Christians) are going door to door killing anyone owning a bible. Panic mode is definitely on. Now I'm usually a chill, laid back, chillaxed type of person but when my life is on the line and nobody knows but me, i have the right to panic. I know I'm supposed to trust in the LORD with all my heart and soul and mind, as learned yesterday in church, but it's just too hard sometimes because God is bigger than my mind, his love is too much for my heart and he's more powerful than this world. And so i sometimes have a hard time wrapping my mind around what he can do and how much he can control. I really wish i was Marcie (i know it's weird, but it's not like everything else is normal either so, it's alright if i say that). She's brave, bold and strong; everything I've always wanted to be but didn't have the strength to do. I try to hide my problems but behind that face, behind the smile, is a girl crying for help, wanting a way out. So yeah- i need to get rid of my bible. I almost burned it but, to be honest, i couldn't. I just can't bring myself to do something that sinful and horrid. I can't wreck God's holy book- it's the only thing in this world that makes sense. But i can't keep it because i don't wanna die and i don't wanna die!! Sorry diary, I'm getting you all wet with my tears but it's not my fault, i feel so alone and scared right now. 


Today in sociology class we learned that your family is the primary source for emotional support. Mine isn't.


-wait a minute- isn't God considered my heavenly father? And i haven't asked him for advice why? Oh my goodness, oh my goodness, oh God please help me! They're knocking on the door and the bible's in my hand. They're knocking on the door! Mom can't answer, i won't let her. um... i need a plan and quick! I can do this, I've always done this. solved my own problems, came up with devious plans and improvised during tough situations. This is no different. 


If I'm alive tomorrow,

Chapter 4: Long Way Home

Friday, June 17                         6:00                 116 Tenth Av. North- Cathy's Room


Short Story made Long:
After I had thrown up, I ran to the park washroom. Bruce didn't notice since he was too busy throwing stones, and thankfully too because it wasn't a pretty sight. The park washroom isn't that far from where we'd been but on this particular day it felt like a lifelong journey. In the washroom I washed up, duh! But it wasn't one of those refreshing washes. It was painful and scarring because every few seconds I would hear Marcie scream and it wasn't one of those little girl screams- filled with laughter and joy- and it definitely wasn't a heavy metal typa scream- passionate and meaningful. Let me put it this way: If you had ever asked for a history lesson on the death of Jesus, this was the place to be. Soon, though, the screaming died down and I'm thinking, so did she. I decided, after washing up, that Id live in the washroom forever. I couldn't live with myself and I couldn't move on knowing that the girl out there getting stoned was the same one that I had buzzed off a week ago. It was just happening all too fast. 
and that's when it hit me!

I fell onto the washroom floor and prayed. It wasn't the most glorious moment of my life, I have to admit. I looked like a mess and ewww, gross, i was laying down on the washroom floor. 


But I could've cared less then. After the prayer I decided that I had to go and stop the stoning. I had to save that poor innocent soul. So I fled back to the "scene of the crime". Okay, I have to admit "fled" is a bit of an exaggeration considering that I had stopped every few seconds to think about what I was gonna do. When I got there...
I, I, I was too late. Everybody had left but Bruce and the poor dead girl. 


"Yo, where were you?" Bruce asked me, but I didn't hear him. All I could think about was the poor 17 year old who had lost everything. She wasn't even gonna get to graduate. Her skin had been grated off like cheese. Her nose had ben stoned off her face- and oh boy did she have a nice nose to start with. Her lips were missing and fear was left in her eyes.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Maybe she hadn't lost everything" I thought as Bruce piggybacked me home. I just told him that I had to go- go pee, go pray, or go die? No difference really. He didn't need to know. 


"Maybe she hadn't lost everything" 
"Maybe she had won the battle, victorious and strong."
"Maybe".
"Definitely Maybe".

Chapter 3: Flop Culture

Friday, June 17               5:10              Silver Shadow Park        Choking on Tears                  
The sun is shining very bright, kids are laughing, couples are giggling under the trees and police officers are chit chatting about their days while sipping on warm coffee. This is what most of us would envision as a happy day. 
But not me. 
Nope. 
Nada.
NOT a chance. 
Today Marcie is getting stoned, in ten minutes to be exact. I'm kind of scared- for her and for me. Like I don't want her to die an' all, but what if she tells the people that I'm also christian and that it would be unfair for them not to stone me as well. 
!!!!
I never used to think much of these stonings. It was actually my favourite time of the year, they were the only days that I could get my parents to get along and enjoy each others company. I guess I never really thought about what it felt as the person being stoned- or worse! I might even lose my reputation ( and I've been working on that for years). Oh no! They're about to stone her. Bruce just handed me a heavy rock to throw at her (I'll just throw it behind me or sumthin). I'm scared- what if she tells them I'm a christian? What if the people just find out on their own? What if I'm the next to be stoned? I'm only a young girl! Lord save me! (who cares about her at the moment). 


One... the people are counting down
Two... They're ready to throw
Three... I throw up