Dear diary this, dear diary that... I'm just gonna cut to the chase. I don't feel it. I really don't feel that the lord is helping me out. I used to feel it. But now, I feel like giving up. I thought that the lord was supposed to help me out. I thought he was supposed to always be there for me. But i guess I was wrong. Actually, I know I was wrong. This whole christianity thing isn't working out for me. I've been praying for about a week now, but I don't feel any better. Actually, I feel worse. My friends won't shut up about how stupid christians are and I just can't include myself in the conversation with them. I don't feel comfortable doing so. I don't even feel like their my friends anymore. The only thing we ever did together was share gossip, and I just feel rude doing so now.
...
About the third the third time around the third time around the block, right when the gossip was actually getting quite serious, a monster jumped out at us. Yeah, well it's dark outside, so it looked like a monster to me. It was tall, it was wide and it had shaggy, gorgeous... beautiful... brown hair. Okay, it was William. A definite hottie from Long Island University. Wow! What a creep, like he didn't have to scare us so much. We all turned around quickly to fix our hair that had frizzed up from the fear. Then we all did our usual rounds of hugs. Now this is the guy I'd want to date- not Bruce."You're such a freak!" I told him, all embarrassed, "You scared me like crap!"
"And made me mess up my hair!" Emma gushed. That girl sucked at talking to guys. She never knew what to say or what to do, but i guess that's why all the guys seamed to like her- she was easy to talk to. Plus she was cute.
"Well I'm so very sorry," he mocked an apology. "What are you ladies doing out here? It's way too late for you young girls to be wandering around."
"Talking, like you'd care," Olivia answered, her hands crossed over her chest. William shrugged his shoulders and walked over to his house which was right across the street.
"Wow, Liv! Like you had to go and ruin the moment," Janett rolled her eyes,"I could have stared at him for like, another hour? Sheesh! You ruin all the fun, girl!"
"Well at least I saved you from looking like such a dork." Olivia always knew how to answer people.
"Tev, tevs!" I had to agree with Janett on this one.
We continued to 'walk 'n' talk' for about another hour and by then it was about twelve midnight, so we headed back to my house.
That night I had the worst nightmare. It was weird. And scary. And it all went way too fast for me. Marcie was in it. Actually, it was all about Marcie. She was running away... from these people with masks on. They were large and they had guns in their hands. The men kept on catching up to her, her face getting sweatier by the second. She was slowing down, they were catching up. She cried for help, but of course, nobody heard he. They grabbed her and strangled her and told her to yell, "God is a myth, God is a myth. I will worship only the devil, only the devil". No! she'd yell, No! "I will never do it!" and that was when the trigger on the gun went off and she disappeared- dead, gone forever, all in the blink of an eye.
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Thank God for pillow fights because if Brittany hadn't accidentally smacked me with her hard-rock pillow, I don't know how much of that nightmare I could've taken. "I can't do this anymore!" I silently prayed to the Lord. "I really need your help, please Lord, I'm begging you! Help me!"Once again, thank God for pillow fights- they totally take your mind off serious problems.
Until tomorrow,
wow! was it a vision? that dream i mean.
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