12:00 In court Breaking down
I did, it. I did it diary. I broke down in public for the first time in my life. I never break down, never! Not even the day I broke my wrist. I never cry, I'm a strong women and everybody knows it. Even my parents were surprised that I broke down.
Why did I break down? Let me "break down" the story for you diary.
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I was already terrified from the idea that mom had filed a divorce and scheduled a time for the court without telling me. No warning signals, no text message, nada! And it wasn't even fun like a surprise party. So picture this: I was so surprised that I left my mouth hanging low until one of the guys told me that I had just a bit of drool on my shirt. Just a bit! JUST A BIT! I was drenched in my own drool and I didn't even have time to clean my shirt because I was being dragged into the court room. "Apparently I was late." So I was still getting over the shock of this whole thing. I mean, I knew that this was going to happen one day, I just didn't want to believe that it was going to happen. Everything went "smoothly", as they liked to call it, until the judge asked me to give my testimony. MY TESTIMONY! What I wanted to really say was, "these people, I don't know them. Nope! Don't remember 'em from nowhere." but what came out was crying. I didn't know which side to take. Oh, sure, I knew which side was right- my mom's. But I couldn't betray my dad. I loved him too much. He was the one who'd raised me up. My mom was always working, so it was my dad who had taught me how to play tennis, made me love mini golf and helped my study for my tests(although he never really understood anything he would be teaching me). My dad was my hero. I know. It sounds lame, but he is!! He's adventurous, kind, funny, has a great wardrobe and got everything he's wanted without doing anything he's asked to. Well, he's gotten everything up until now... AND IT'S ALL BECAUSE OF ME!! ME AND MY STUPID MOUTH. I blame that mouth of mine!!! So here I am, curled in the corner of a room. They put me there to calm down and when I'm calm, I'm allowed back out.
Like yeah right I wanna get out!
I wanna stay here until I die. And I wanna die now. Why isn't the Lord helping me out of this.
Because.
As Mark (that church elder) once said, "That Lord and his mind!!! Mysterious..."he would go on and say " some things seem good and some things seem bad, but in the end, they're all awesomely amazing!!"
I wish I was as optimistic as Mark. I wish I could see things his way.
Oh, no. They're coming back to check up on me. The same men in that limo. I gotta pretend I'm still freaking out so that I don't have to go back in there.
---Wait a minute!!--- who's pretending, I am freaking out.
*fake cry fake cry fake cry, just keep telling myself to fake cry fake cry fake cry*
"We know you're all better. Come one. The judge can't wait too much longer." "that limo guy" stretches out his hand so that I can take it and get up. But we went over this diary-
"I'm not leaving this room." I reply calmly and sharply looking him straight in the eyes.
"Well this is going to be fun," he says with a smirk on his face.
Diary, he grabbing you! Diary!!! diar
